Criminal
by Dramaphile
Summary: He cared for me, and I slept with a man I barely knew. I tell myself it wasn’t my fault, I was in heat, I couldn’t help myself. But it hurts the same. MaxLogan


Title: Criminal  
Author: DramaPhile DramaPhileMe@aol.com  
Rating: PG  
Keywords: Max/other, Angst, Max/Logan Romance, Max POV  
Spoilers: Meow, And Jesus Brought a Casserole...   
Disclaimer: Dark Angel is not mine, it belongs to The King of The World, and the song Criminal belongs to Fiona Apple, but Marge the Truck Driver is all mine....  
Notes: I have no clue why I decided to write such a torturous fic, but it came out and turned out pretty good... The story itself really doesn't have much to do with the plot of the song "Criminal" but the song was in my head while I was writing this and it worked with the feel of the story. Turn back now if you don't like sad stories. Let me know what you think of the ending and how I could improve it when you send me FEEDBACK!! Praise is appreciated, as is constructive criticism, and Flames will be burned ceremoniously in the woods...  
  
Criminal  
By DramaPhile  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
What I need is a good defense,  
Cause I'm feeling like a criminal.  
And I need to be redeemed   
To the one I sinned against  
Because he's all I ever knew of love.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My chest feels as though it will tear apart as I vomit into the cold steel military issue toilet bowl in my barrack. The incision on my chest is still healing and I can feel it burn with every heave.  
  
My pulse--my brother's pulse--pounds in my temples as I lean back against the bare grey wall, relishing in the cool concrete against my cheek.  
It has gotten worse with each passing week and my reprogramming has halted because of my condition. I am at least thankful for that.  
  
My condition. The Bitch calls it that when she comes in to torment me, to remind me of what is already too prevalent in my mind: I betrayed Logan. He cared for me, and I slept with a man I barely knew. I tell myself it wasn't my fault, I was in heat, I couldn't help myself. But it hurts the same.  
  
And now I'm pregnant.  
  
I know when I'm in heat that I have a high risk of pregnancy an after my first heat episode when I got knocked up, I was more careful. I lost that baby, and I was almost glad. Being 14 and alone, running from Manticore, the last thing I needed was a child. I should have been careful, but I held off for so long this time, trying to be faithful to my then-nonexistent relationship with Logan.   
  
Desperation pays no attention to things like birth control.  
  
I wonder sometimes, if I ever get out, what Logan would do, if he could really forgive me like he said he did. Would He accept my child or forget me altogether? Either way, it'll be a permanent reminder of my betrayal.   
  
~*~  
  
It's a girl. My baby's a little girl. I heard the doctor tell Renfro after my sonogram yesterday. I settle my hand on my taut, round abdomen and smile, imagining what she'll look like. Maybe she'll look like me. My heart breaks a little as I realize again that she won't have Logan's gorgeous blue eyes or light brown hair.  
  
They're going to take her away as soon as she's born, just as they took me from my mother. They'll want to experiment on her like they did to Tinga, and besides, motherhood would make a soldier soft in their eyes. She'll be born and I'll be alone again.  
  
Unless I escape before they can take her.  
  
I've trained for months, lifting my bed, doing squats and presses in preparation for my escape. I can't chance getting out of shape, even in my condition. The guards I think sometimes forget that I'm an X-5, that I could snap their necks with a flick of my wrist, that I'm a trained genetically engineered killing machine. Sometimes they believe I'm really just a helpless woman, 9 months pregnant and ready to burst any day.   
  
They'll learn soon enough.  
  
I'll either escape or die trying. This is no place to live, no place for my baby. No life is better than a life of torture here.  
  
It's 23:30, another thirty minutes and they'll change my cell guard and it's time for action. My current guard is only 22 and knows nothing about pregnancy. The mere thought of me going into labor in his half-asleep mind will make him wet himself. I peek out the tiny window in my door, he's about to nod off. Now's the time.  
  
"Augh!" I scream and clutch my stomach. He scrambles around aimlessly.  
  
"What is it?" He's frantic. Perfect.  
  
"Oh god, it's time! Augh!" I scream again, adding a moan to punctuate it. "You've got to get me to the infirmary, fast! It's coming!!" I scream again as if in agony.  
  
I hear before The Pulse they gave out awards for this kind of performance.  
  
"Get me out of here!" I moan and he fumbles with his key card.  
  
"Hurry!" I shriek and the door clicks open. "Get the gurney!" and he grabs a nearby wheeled bed and helps weak little me get on it, forgetting to strap me down. Life is beautiful.  
  
He races me down the hall towards the infirmary--and the exit. Just before we get there, I jump off, elbow him in the spine and steal his keycard and gun, then race to the exit at full speed, well as fast as a nine-months pregnant super-soldier can run, which is still pretty damn fast. One swipe of the card and I'm home free. Well sort of. Sirens wail behind me and I can hear the footsteps of the X-7's deploying. I run through the combat training area, jump the final fence with less than ease and head for the open road.  
  
I run for what seems like hours, my legs burning and my heart racing until the sounds fade behind me. Could they have given up? It doesn't seem likely, and I'm especially wary as I come to a road that appears empty. I head up one way, hopeful it leads me away from Manticore, but not entirely sure. The escape has taken its toll on me so I rest on a fallen log by the roadside, still clutching the gun I took from my guard.  
  
A glint catches the corner of my eye and I hide out of instinct behind a tree.  
  
Headlights. It could be them. My panic rises as it comes closer, but it's not a generic black jeep from Manticore, it's an 18-wheeler and it's yellow and heading my way. This could be my chance to get home. I drop my gun behind the tree and jump out to into the road, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. Miraculously, it stops and a window rolls down.  
  
"What the hell are you doing all the way out here?" an androgynous voice calls out.  
  
"Please, I need to get out of here, I plead, "I'm in danger."  
  
"Get in" says the voice and I learn it belongs to a husky woman with curly bleach-blonde hair and bigger muscles than Bling.  
  
"Thank you," I breathe, and I close the door and settle into the vinyl-covered seat. She eyes my military fatigues, my huge belly, and my disheveled appearance suspiciously.   
  
"Like I asked before, why the hell are you on the side of the road at 3am in the middle of nowhere?" I search the back of my mind for the story I spent hours making up during my captivity.  
  
"My husband has a hunting cabin out here and we came for a holiday. We got in an argument and he started drinking. He thought I cheated on him, that our baby wasn't his, but he knows that can't be true. I tried to tell him, but he swung at me and grabbed his rifle off the rack. He was going to kill me. He's never been like that, but I was so afraid--for the baby. I had to run, to get as far from him as possible so he couldn't hurt me." I start to cry, exhausted from my escape and emotional from the hormones coursing through my body. The scratches and bruises from my flight punctuate my tale. I look up at the worry in her eyes and suddenly feel terrible for lying to her.  
  
"You are one brave woman." She asks for my name and I give her the first name that pops into my head.  
  
"Elisabeth." Logan's Mother's name, I realize after saying it.  
  
"Well, I'm proud to have helped you, Elisabeth. My name's Marjorie."  
She extends her hand and I take it, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"I'm headed for Seattle and I'll drop you anywhere you like on the way." This is better than I could imagine.  
  
"My mother lives in Seattle." I lie.  
  
"You're one lucky woman, Elisabeth."  
  
Marjorie talks for some time about her family and shares the story of her abused sister's escape from her boyfriend and while before I would have been annoyed by her chit-chat, I welcome the chance to talk to someone who doesn't treat me like a prisoner, a soldier or an invalid.  
  
I grow tired and soon I'm sleeping like a baby after all the night's excitement. It isn't until morning when we're well past the Idaho border that I awaken to a warm, wet sensation spreading across my thighs. It takes a moment to register in my sleepy brain.  
  
"Oh great, my water just broke!" Marjorie just stares at me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"My water just broke and--" A contraction tears across my belly and I grit my teeth."  
  
"Oh dear Lord, what are going to do?" She's hyperventilating and I don't blame her.  
  
"Get me to the nearest hospital." I try to stay calm as I recall Renfro's briefing of the meds last week. "Because of their superior strength and endurance, delivery for an X-5 is dramatically shortened, often 30 minutes or less." I'd rather not give birth in an 18-wheeler with a truck driver named Marge.  
  
A dispatcher on the other end informs us we're near the town of Orofino and directs Marge to the hospital, but it seems like an eternity to get there.  
  
They're waiting for me with a stretcher and I can barely stand because the contractions are coming one after another. The hospital is a blur of shouted commands and sterile smells and blinking lights and somehow through the madness comes the sharp wail of a baby.  
  
Through the haze of exhaustion I see the doctor hold it up, pink and screaming.  
  
"It's a girl, Ms.--"   
  
"Cale." I mutter before I slip into the darkness.  
  
~*~  
  
I can't remember how long I've been out, but it seems like a while.  
  
"Elisabeth?" My memories flood back: escaping--Marge--the hospital.   
  
"My baby." I say groggily.  
  
Marge appears before my face.  
  
"She's beautiful, Elisabeth, really healthy and everything. You want me to get the nurse to bring her?"  
  
I nod and in minutes the nurse arrives with a writhing bundle swaddled in a pink blanket.  
  
I sit up and hold her, my tiny girl. My own eyes blink back at me and she has the beginnings of my caramel skin. I'm glad she doesn't look like him. It'll help me forget.  
  
"She's a real beauty."  
"Yeah." I'm getting all choked up and a tear falls down my cheek. I wish my friends--Logan could be here to share this with me.  
  
What will they think? How could I explain to them all that's happened? I look over to Marjorie, who is watching the baby suck her tiny fist.  
  
"Thank you, you saved my life--her life too." She blushes.  
  
"Anytime, Elisabeth." She glances down at her watch.  
  
"Oh no, I've got to have that shipment in by tonight. I'm sorry to leave you alone."  
  
"I'll call my mother. Thank you." I squeeze her hand and she kisses the baby's forehead before leaving for the road.  
  
The Second she's gone, I pick up the phone and dial Original Cindy.  
  
"Ya got me."  
  
"Cindy?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It's Max." There's a loud clunk. I think she dropped the phone. She picks it up hastily.  
  
"Boo, you're dead."  
  
"I got a little Lazarus help from the magicians at Manticore--and my brother's heart. I escaped yesterday and I'm in the hospital in Orofino, Idaho."  
  
"How come you hospitalized? You get shot?"  
  
"No, nothing like that, but I'm in no condition to get home on my own. Can you come get me?"  
  
"Are you kidding, I'm leaving this instant." She pauses. "Oh God, I've gotta tell Logan you're still kickin'"   
  
"No!" My answer is a bit abrupt. "Please don't tell him--not yet. Some things have changed since I've been gone and I need to sort them out."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I can't tell you over the phone. Just get here asap and don't tell a soul I'm here. I need some time to figure things out before I see anyone else."  
  
"aiight, I'll get there as soon as I can, hang in there, Boo."  
  
"I will."  
  
Waiting for Original Cindy to arrive is torture, but deciding how to tell her is worse.  
  
While taking a walk around the ward two days later, I hear a familiar voice.  
  
"I'm looking for a patient here, Max Guevera. G-u-e-v-e-r-a."  
  
"I'm sorry Miss, but there's no Guevera here."  
  
"Are you sure?" She paused, thinking. "What about Cale? C-a-l-e"  
  
"We've got an Elisabeth Cale in the Maternity Ward."  
  
"Maternity? That can't be her."  
  
I peek out from behind the pillar and see my best friend.  
  
"Original Cindy!"  
  
"MAX!" She runs to me and hugs me, practically lifting me off my feet. After a moment, she pulls back to examine me.  
  
"Damn girl, you look good for someone who used to be dead!" I can't help but smile, finally seeing a familiar friendly face .  
  
"All this time--I've missed you so much, Boo!" We embrace again and I find myself crying. Must be the hormones again.  
  
"What the hell are you in here for? You look damn fine to me!"  
  
"I'll show you. Follow me." I lead her into the Maternity ward.  
  
"Wait, this is the *maternity* ward."  
  
"I know, come here." I lead her to the window where you can watch the incubators and then I walk inside. The Nurse hands me my little girl and I take her outside to meet my best friend. She's in shock.  
  
"This is my daughter." You could have tipped Original Cindy over with a feather.  
  
"D-Daughter? Did they do this to you? Make you pregnant?" I shake my head.  
  
"I was pregnant when they captured me."  
  
"You and Logan--"  
  
"I wish. Remember the pizza boy? When we--" A sob escapes my throat.  
  
"That's why I didn't want you to tell Logan. I don't know how to tell him that my baby is a product of my betrayal." I hiccup another sob and take Original Cindy to my room. She holds me reassuringly and rubs my back to calm me.  
  
"It wasn't your fault, Boo. Blame the assholes at your bad place for this. You didn't betray Logan, and he'll still love you anyways. That boy loves you so much, he almost died when he thought you were gone."  
  
My heart aches to see him again.  
  
"How could he forgive me for this. How could he accept this?"  
  
"I already have." Says a voice from the doorway of my room and Logan walks in, smiling softly. I can't breathe.  
  
"Max, Nothing can change that I love you, and I can only love your daughter because she's yours. I can't hate her because she's someone else's, because of your genetics, what those bastards did to you."  
  
I'm crying full on now as he holds me and kisses the baby gently. I guess I underestimated him in his ability to forgive.  
  
"She's beautiful, Max, looks just like you" He smiles and kisses my cheek softly, then my lips, the thing I've craved for so many months in Manticore. I must remember to thank Original Cindy for going against my wishes and telling him.  
  
He pulls back and studies the name on my hospital wristband.  
  
"Cale?" His eyes and I blush.  
  
"Just wishful thinking, I guess."  
  
He strokes my daughter's cheek softly and she closes her eyes. I push away the urge to call her our baby. It's too soon for that. Finally he looks up at me and smiles softly.  
  
"What are you going to call her?" It doesn't take long for me to decide.  
  
"Marjorie Elisabeth."  
  
"Marjorie?" He listens as I recount my escape and for the first time in my life, with my daughter in my arms, wrapped up in Logan's embrace, I feel like part of a real family.  
  
~fin~  
  
11:36 pm August 29th. zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.........  
  



End file.
